14. February 2017 · Comments Off on THE CHARACTER OF LOVE · Categories: Holy Spirit, Jesus Christ, Love, Marriage, Relationship

Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening] (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 AMP).

So, all February we’ve declared war against lust in church and there was something the Elder that preached on Sunday said that caught my attention. He said “Lust has the feeling of love, lust has the emotions of love but lust does not have the character of love”.

Hmmm… so what is the character of love, well our feature text tells us… Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end (The Message).

Using Amnon as an example (2 Samuel 13:1-19), he was so consumed by lust hence the reason he could rape Tamar, his half-sister and not care about her feelings despite all her pleading but that’s because lust cares more for self than others… Lust wants what it doesn’t have… lust forces itself on others. Amnon had the feeling of love, had the emotions of love but did not have the character of love. What about David, his father? Same thing. He could care less that he destroyed a loyal servant’s household and even killed him in the process (2 Samuel 11)

‎Beloved, perhaps you are saying that this is not for me. I am not consumed by lust but on this special valentine’s day, it would be an opportunity to evaluate your relationships. Does it lack the character of love? Perhaps you want to sit with your other half and discuss the character of love listed in our feature text so you can decide how you can love better and then allow the Holy spirit go to work in you.

Happy Valentine’s Day

God bless you in Jesus Christ name
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12. February 2017 · Comments Off on ARE YOU DESPERATE FOR LOVE, ACCEPTANCE AND VALIDATION? · Categories: God's Plan, Identity, Jesus Christ, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Thoughts

Leah’s eyes WERE WEAK AND DULL LOOKING, BUT Rachel was BEAUTIFUL AND ATTRACTIVE. And Jacob loved Rachel; so he said, I will work for you for seven years for Rachel your younger daughter (Genesis 29:17-18 AMPC).

Beloved, once upon a time, there was a lady called Leah. Unfortunately, she was beautifully challenged and society being what it’s like judged her based on looks… And to make it worse, they compared her to her younger sister. Imagine what this must have done to her self-esteem. Its tradition that she marries before her younger sister but she was overlooked because she wasn’t BEAUTIFUL AND ATTRACTIVE.

Anyway, daddy comes up with a plan. Get in to his bed when all the lights are off so he can’t recognise you… But in the morning [Jacob saw his wife, and] behold, it was Leah! And he said to Laban, WHAT IS THIS YOU HAVE DONE TO ME? Did I not work for you [all those seven years] for Rachel? Why then have you deceived and cheated and thrown me down [like this]? Genesis 29:25 (AMPC)

WHAT IS THIS YOU HAVE DONE TO ME? (LOL). Am I that ugly? Again, imagine what this must have done to her self-esteem, but then, the Lord intervened….And when the Lord saw that Leah was despised, He made her able to bear children, but Rachel was barren. And Leah became pregnant and bore a son and named him Reuben [See, a son!]; for she said, Because the Lord has seen my HUMILIATION AND AFFLICTION; now my husband will love me. [Leah] became pregnant again and bore a son and said, Because the Lord heard that I am DESPISED, He has given me this son also; and she named him Simeon [God hears]. And she became pregnant again and bore a son and said, Now this time will my husband be a COMPANION to me, for I have borne him three sons. Therefore he was named Levi [companion]. Again she conceived and bore a son, and she said, NOW WILL I PRAISE THE LORD! So she called his name Judah [praise]; then [for a time] she ceased bearing (Genesis 29:31-35 AMPC).

Beloved, she didn’t want much. All she wanted was to get rid of the feeling of HUMILIATION, AFFLICTION, DESPISE and replace it with LOVE and COMPANIONSHIP. She wanted to be cherished but a time has to come when you realise that you have all of that in Jesus… NOW WILL I PRAISE THE LORD.

There are many Leah’s out there. You don’t need to spend the rest of your life doing things to buy a man’s love. Turn to Jesus. He’ll quench your thirst. He did it for the Samaritan woman by the well (John 4). Unfortunately, she was judged for being promiscuous but there could be many reasons for her 5 husbands. It could just be that she grew up facing situations that made her develop very low self-esteem and the devil may have built strongholds in her mind…YOU ARE NO GOOD…causing her to attract the wrong kind of men. Maybe HUSBAND NO 1 made her feel worthless…HUSBAND NO 2 was violent…HUSBAND NO 3 was cheating because she wasn’t BEAUTIFUL AND ATTRACTIVE like Rachael…And in a desperate attempt to find love and acceptance, she moves from husband to husband…

AND THEM SHE ENCOUNTERS JESUS and finds that He can give her all she is looking for. You too can do the same. Focus on Him this valentine season and He would give you all the LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE you would ever need… This is not just for the ladies; it’s for the guys as well. Society has made you turn to various things in search for validation but you need to turn to Jesus.

God bless you in Jesus Christ name
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17. March 2016 · Comments Off on YOU DON’T WEAR THE PANTS… YOU WEAR GOD’S GLORY · Categories: God's Plan, Holy Spirit, Jesus Christ, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Worship

So, I want the men everywhere to pray, lifting up their hands in a holy manner [their hands in reverence; holy hands], without anger and arguments [quarreling; disputing] (1 Timothy 2:8 EXB).

Beloved, have you ever heard a man say “I’m the man in this house… I wear the pants/trousers in this house?” Perhaps, as a man you’ve said it yourself. Well, I just got back from Germany where I attended a three day’s conference themed ‘Restoring the Family’ based on Joshua 24:15… AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE, WE WILL SERVE THE LORD.

One of the conference days focused on married couples and the speaker who was a man by the way said, “Men, you don’t wear the pants in your house, you wear GOD’S GLORY! When you tell your wife that you’re coming home, she should be able to shout GLORY!!”

LOL… GLORY! She shouldn’t be full of fear or anxiety, worrying that you are going to verbally, emotionally or physically abuse her. Rather, she should be shouting GLORY!!

So, what where they trying to say? There was a desperate call for men to take their place in worship because a man that really reverences God, with a lifestyle that’s devoted to truly seeking and worshiping Him, will carry God’s glory.

They went on to say that in a marriage, the way you relate with God will determine how you relate with your spouse and that your relationship should be with God so according to him, “husbands, grab your wife and tell her “honey, our relationship is over” (LOL). What they were trying to say is that your relationship should look upwards and not to each other and that if all your conversations are first with God, then God will make it right for both of you.

Your relationship then becomes a Spirit-Guided relationship where husbands and wives are guided by the Holy spirit to… submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church… (Ephesians 5:21-23 NLT). For husbands, this doesn’t mean keep going on about how you wear the pants in this house… this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up His life for her… (Ephesians 5:25 NLT).

It’s not about quarrelling and fighting because like the speaker said “Jesus whom you’ve left out of your movie is eating popcorn watching both of you and wondering “whose gonna win this fight because I’m definitely not in it”.

Beloved, it’s not about who wears the pants in this relationship. It’s about lifting up your hands in a holy manner in reverence to God and as you do this, He will dress you with His glory to the point that your wife would have no choice but to shout GLORY when you tell her you’re coming home.

God bless you in Jesus Christ name
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28. November 2015 · Comments Off on DIVIDED LOYALTY · Categories: Blessing, Choices, Jesus Christ, Marriage, Praise, Relationship, Worship

Once again Leah became pregnant and gave birth to another son. She named him Judah, for she said, “NOW I WILL PRAISE THE LORD!” And then she stopped having children (Genesis 29:35 NLT).

Studying this story again of how Leah struggled to win her husband’s love, I can’t help but highlight the struggles that many people have in juggling their relationship between God and man.

Let’s backtrack a bit… When God realized that Leah was unloved, He opened her womb. But Rachel was barren. Leah became pregnant and had a son. She named him Reuben (Look-It’s-a-Boy!). “This is a sign,” she said, “that God has seen my misery; and a sign that now my husband will love me.” She became pregnant again and had another son. “God heard,” she said, “that I was unloved and so he gave me this son also.” She named this one Simeon (God-Heard). She became pregnant yet again—another son. She said, “Now maybe my husband will connect with me—I’ve given him three sons!” That’s why she named him Levi (Connect) (Genesis 29:31-34 MSG).

Here, we see that Leah was battling between God and her husband; juggling between both relationships. Every time the Lord blessed her with a son, her focus went from “God” to “her man”. Until she finally said enough is enough… THIS TIME, I’LL FOCUS ON GOD… THIS TIME, I WILL PRAISE GOD”…

Unfortunately, it’s the same thing with many today and while it isn’t my intention to focus on marital relationships, Apostle Paul said… a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. HIS INTERESTS ARE DIVIDED… a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband (1 Corinthians 7:33-34 NLT).

My focus is on you that’s dating that’s finding yourself battling between your relationship with God and your partner. “Who should I really be loyal to?” You love God and want to please Him but you also love this person and want to please them too so you find that you are compromising because you don’t want to lose them. You find yourself juggling between both relationships… but it’s so important that you know which relationship is the most important.

Leah got to the point where she said… “NOW I WILL PRAISE THE LORD!” And then she stopped having children. But why did the Lord keep blessing her with more children? I believe that it’s because at times He allows us to get to the end of our road – that place where we finally conclude that this thing isn’t working. I’m not deriving any real fulfilment from it. My relationship with the Lord who has been blessing me is more important.

Beloved, are you in any kind of relationship where you are struggling with divided loyalty? I pray today that you choose wisely where your loyalty lies… You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God… (Exodus 20:5 NLT)

God bless you
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Ever had a blocked sink? Most times, the cause of the blockage is all that congealed oil that has piled up and the most common solution to unclogging the sink is to pour boiling water over it to melt the oil so that water can flow freely down the sink.

Some of us are operating like a blocked sink. You’ve piled up so much bitterness, pain and unforgiveness that it’s blocked your spiritual pathway. As a result it’s hard to hear clearly from God neither can you receive all that He wants to give to you. Do you know that you are doing yourself more harm than good? Off course, it hurts when you think of what people have done to you and all you hear is let it go but think of it like the hot water that has to be poured down the sink to melt away all the congealed oil. I’m sure it hurts but the anointing in your life has to flow freely. I’m not saying you should put up with evil but… if it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (Romans 12:18 NIV).

Also, do your best to void strife, quarrelling, fighting, malice and all that stuff because they block your SPIRITUAL PATHWAY. Jesus promised the coming of the Holy Spirit and on that fateful day, the Bible points out something very significant… they were all WITH ONE ACCORD in one place. And suddenly there came a sound from heaven, as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting… And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit… (Acts 2:1-4 NKJV).

The pathway was clear for the free flow of the Holy Spirit. WITH ONE ACCORD… means to be in agreement or to be in harmony. Please know that the enemy is always looking for ways to cause confusion, disagreement and enmity which isn’t the right atmosphere for the anointing of God to flow. Many times, I’ve had reasons to frown at some ugly situations but when I think of what it would do to my flow with the Lord, I know it isn’t worth it at all so I immediately let it go.

How wonderful and pleasant it is when brothers live together in harmony! For harmony is as precious as the anointing oil that was poured over Aaron’s head, that ran down his beard and onto the border of his robe. Harmony is as refreshing as the dew from Mount Hermon that falls on the mountains of Zion. AND THERE THE LORD HAS PRONOUNCED HIS BLESSING, even life everlasting (Psalm 133: 1-3 NLT).

Do you want to experience the anointing of God and His blessings in your life, home, business, office, marriage and relationships? Why not start UNCLOGGING YOUR SPIRITUAL PATHWAY. I know it’s easier said than done but that’s why you have to keep visiting the throne of grace to obtain the help you need. Why not present your case to Jesus and ask the Holy Spirit to help you let go.

God bless you
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09. August 2015 · Comments Off on OPERATING IN THE SPIRIT OF REVELATION · Categories: God's Plan, Jesus Christ, Marriage, Revelation, Trusting God, Wisdom

…“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him.” But it was to us that God revealed these things by His Spirit. For His Spirit searches out everything and shows us God’s deep secrets. No one can know a person’s thoughts except that person’s own spirit, and no one can know God’s thoughts except God’s own Spirit. And we have received God’s Spirit… so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us (1 Corinthians 2:9-12 NLT).

Yesterday, I read a funny article about a man who is suing his new wife for fraud after seeing her without make up for the first time. It was so funny but I wasn’t sure whether to blame the lady for this fraudulent act because he does have a point (Why deceive a brother like that? May the Lord help us ladies is all I can say) or blame the man for going after outward appearance in the first place. Perhaps, one of the criteria for getting married should be “show me your face without make up”. LOL

Jokes aside. I immediately remembered a God-moment I experienced at home last weekend. A mentee and pastor friend came to hang out with me after a few months of not seeing each other and as we were catching up, my mentee starting telling of how she’s getting married soon. My pastor friend fell for it but I knew she was not serious so I kept asking “what’s his name?” That’s when she gave me but then she said something that had me screaming in the Holy Ghost. She said “the man that wants to marry me must find my spirit through Jesus Christ”. Hmmm… not my flesh but my spirit.

She calls me her spiritual mum but I’m thinking “hey, this spiritual mum needs to learn some things from you because occasionally you just throw out some words of wisdom and I’m thinking where did that come from?” I tell you, I felt that thing. It so hit my spirit that I couldn’t let it go. I immediately started speaking in tongues and with tears rolling down my face, I stretched out my hands. So, we held each hands and started praying. It was an ‘open heavens moment’. After praying she said “Ruky, I made you cry!!!!” and I’m like “well, I recognise when God is speaking”.

It got me thinking… If only we operated in the spirit of revelation, we would hardly be disappointed. Many times, we are moved by what we see on the outside which can be deceptive. God made us as spirit beings in His own image (Genesis 1:27). Our body is only a container that houses our real being and so when dealing with someone, I tend to ask God to show me the spirit of that person. That way, I can bypass all their outward show off and connect to their spirit.

Do you want to make that your prayer today and get out of the flesh?

God bless you
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07. August 2015 · Comments Off on YOU NEVER KNOW WHO’S WATCHING · Categories: Action, Change, Choices, God's Plan, Hardwork and Laziness, Jesus Christ, Marriage, Relationship, Seedtime and Harvest

‎Then Boaz asked his foreman, “Who is that young woman over there? Who does she belong to?” (Ruth 2:5 NLT)

All the single ladies… all the single ladies… Put your hands up…

Good… I see your hands. Now that I’ve got your attention, you can put them down. LOL. I have a special message for you. Do you know you never know who’s watching? Do you who’s watching you right now?

Here’s Ruth a single lady who could have decided that she would only put on her best behaviour when in church when all the eligible bachelors were watching. No! She decided I’m not just going to sit down there waiting for Mr Right to fall from heaven and redeem me from all my problems. She refused to put her life on hold. She also refused to use her Facebook timeline to give the impression that she spends most of her time attending parties. “What time would you have for our family then?”

And when Boaz eventually locates her, he told her… I… KNOW ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DONE for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband. I HAVE HEARD HOW you left your father and mother and your own land to live here among complete strangers. (Ruth 2:11 NLT). Her good reputation had gone before her to clear the way. What has gone before you?

The Bible says… He who finds a wife finds a good thing… (Proverbs 18:22 NKJV). Ruth was already a wife. The ring on her finger didn’t make her one. She already had a loving heart. She was already hard working. As a potential helpmate to Boaz, she already knew his field so well‎ and he knew for sure she would be nice to his mother. Serving God wasn’t going to be a problem either because she had given up all to follow Him.

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life… She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls. She goes to inspect a field and buys it… She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night… She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy… She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised… (Proverbs 31:10-31 NLT).

Are you this virtuous and capable wife? YOU NEVER KNOW WHO’S WATCHING


God bless you
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10. July 2015 · Comments Off on WORK ON YOURSELF‏ FIRST · Categories: Action, Anger, Change, God's Plan, Jesus Christ, Marriage, Relationship, Self Control, Spiritual Growth, Words

‎‎Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I’m about; See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong— then guide me on the road to eternal life (Psalm 139:23-24 MSG).

I recently ministered in a singles conference which in my opinion was a very productive meeting. The focus for the day was getting people to look inwards rather than outwards.

As singles looking for a life partner, many tend to have a list of the attributes they are looking for in a partner, so I asked the question, if God gives you 110% of what’s on your list, what about you? What do you bring to the table? Using the late Dr Myles Munroe’s analogue of a scrambled egg, when you use two eggs to make a scrambled egg, no matter how good one of the eggs are, if the other egg is bad and you happen to mix it with the good egg, the scrambled egg comes out bad. There’s nothing you can do about it. So what if God gives you a good egg, could you be the bad egg that could spoil that combination. Is there anything you need to work on right now to prevent a bad mixture?

According to Dr Munroe, “a relationship is only as good as whatever the individuals bring to it. Your marriage will only be as successful as your singleness” that is, who you are right now. He went on to say that “Marriage is like building a house. Marrying without first being single would be like spending years putting up walls, then putting on a roof, adding doors and windows, and so forth, but finding out, finally, that you have forgotten to build a foundation. That marriage is built on sand, and it will topple, sooner or later. You should build ‘you’ before building a marriage”.

The time the Lord gives you to be single is the time you need to work on yourself. Have you thought of how to communicate properly? Have you thought of how to resolve an argument? If your temper is a problem, then why not ask God to help you control your temper while you have the time? Because… those who do not control themselves [are unrestrained in spirit] are like a city whose walls are broken down (Proverbs 25:28 EXB). If you can’t control your emotion, feelings etc., then the devil would use you as a playground… free access. If your tongue is the problem, then pray like David did… Lord, help me control my tongue [set a guard on my mouth]; help me be careful about what I say [keep watch on the door of my mouth]. (Psalm 141:3 EXB)

Are you single and waiting? Why not spend time working on yourself and when the time is right, the Lord would present that special someone He has been preparing for you.

God bless you
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05. July 2015 · Comments Off on IS EGO A FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT? · Categories: Fruit of the Spirit, God's Plan, Holy Spirit, Humility, Jesus Christ, Love, Marriage, Obedience, Patience, Relationship

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control… (Galatians 5:22-23 NLT)

I ministered at a singles event yesterday and regarding the topic on wives submitting to husbands, a discussion about the man’s ego came up but them, someone asked this question which I had never heard or considered before… IS EGO A FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT?

I had to come home to research the topic and here’s what someone said… “Ego is a bit of a negative word… so let’s talk instead about a man’s sense of worth and value. That’s really what we’re talking about when we talk about the male ego.”

I think this is more appropriate. However, let’s go back to what the Bible says. Referring to Spirit-Guided Relationships (this is how the New living Translation titled this section), the Bible says… submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church… For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her (Ephesians 5:21-25 NLT)

Firstly, I wonder how we tend to leave out verse 21 which says… submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. We tend to go straight to verse 22. Secondly, referring to the husband’s part, they are to… love their wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her (the church). Christ died for the church and I like where we are told that… You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though He was God, He did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, He gave up His divine privileges; He took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When He appeared in human form, He humbled Himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross. Therefore, God elevated Him to the place of highest honor and gave Him the name above all other names (Philippians 2:5-9 NLT)

There’s no talk of ego here but humility and as a result, God elevated Him.

In my opinion rather than both parties’ focuses on the other person’s role in the marriage, if you focus on doing your own bit, the Lord would sort you out. In order words, husbands, let your focus be on loving your wife like Christ loved the Church while wives, let yours be on submitting. Work on yourself!!!

Finally, love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way… (1 Corinthians 13:4-5 NLT). Agape love (God’s kind of love) is what is referred to here and it’s only the Holy Spirit that can produce this kind of love in you, so why not solicit His help.

God bless you
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04. July 2015 · Comments Off on DON’T GET SIDETRACKED · Categories: God's Plan, Jesus Christ, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Trusting God

Seek first [Be concerned above all else with] God’s kingdom and what God wants [his righteousness]. Then all your other needs will be met as well [these things will be given to you] (Matthew 6:33 EXB).

Here’s a quote by the late Corrie ten Boom, a well-known speaker and devotional writer… “Don’t be so preoccupied with who you aren’t, for you may forget who you are. DON’T GET SIDETRACKED BY THE DEVIL so that your main goal is to find a mate. GET PREOCCUPIED WITH GOD”.

DON’T GET SIDETRACKED BY THE DEVIL… Reading this, the verse that immediately comes to mind is the one that says we should not be ignorant of the devices of satan (2 Corinthians 2:11‏). He would use any and everything to try to distract us from the things of God if we allow him.

Is wanting to get married wrong? I don’t think so. After all, it is God that said it is not good for Adam to be alone. Before then, his instruction was to tend and watch over the Garden of Eden (Genesis 2:15) until the Lord presented Eve to him.

However, it is amazing to think that the devil has given some Christians a full time job of finding a mate that even when they go to the house of God, there’s only one thing on their minds which is to get noticed by that single sister or brother. Many started out wonderfully in their relationship with God who was their first love but then, over time, they’ve become very overwhelmed and have lost touch with Him that the Lord is asking “where are you?” Many have even gone as far as looking outside the church. They first started by leaving their local church because hmmm… “In this church, there are no single brothers or sisters here so let me go to that mega church where the choice is greater”. However, slowly but surely, the devil has deceived you and you are no longer dedicated to God and the things of God like you used to be. Many are just at that place where you are thinking of compromising even when you know its not right.

Could that be you today? I started off just writing but then I started to struggle with what to say. It seems the Lord has taken over and is speaking to you personally. You need to come back to where you first started… GET PREOCCUPIED WITH GOD… Seek first [Be concerned above all else with] God’s kingdom and what God wants [His righteousness]. Then all your other needs will be met as well [these things will be given to you]…

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for Me wholeheartedly, you will find Me (Jeremiah 29:11-13 NLT).

God bless you
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