Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God (1 Peter 3:3-4 NLT).
As part of my travelling this past weekend, I met a lady who after hearing me share my experience of low self-esteem and how it affected me growing up, she decided to share her own experience. I actually wondered why she was gazing at me in amazement until she started talking
She came from a family of mostly women who taught her that her body was the asset she had to get whatever she wanted in life. That’s all her mum and aunties taught her and that was the mind-set she grew up with. She said when she entered a room full of men, she made it a goal to get their attention. This went on until she became born again, got married to a man that her mum and aunty disapproved of even after she had her first child. They still wanted her to leave him and hook up with someone who could afford the better luxuries of life.
She refused to give in to their demands but unfortunately, she still had the mind-set that her body was a great asset which affected her marriage so badly. Her husband ended up having an affair which made her very bitter. However, she wasn’t bitter because he defiled their married bed. She was bitter because he left all of these (referring to her assets) and went for another lady. How dare he? She said that what had kept all the men glued to her was not enough to keep her husband at home.
It’s not funny but I couldn’t help laughing. What an obsession with her body? It got so bad that she became out of control. She started smoking in front of her husband and going clubbing. Saturday became a case of who would leave the house first. She wanted to go out just so she could get men to chase after her. She said she wasn’t interested in going to bed with any of them but she just needed to be validated. Lord have mercy!!!
It went on for a while until the Lord decided to step in and started to really break her. That’s when she realised that it wasn’t about her husband’s affair but about the mind-set that she grew up with. The Lord then started to work on her and as she started to change, her husband started to change too and she said now, he hardly leaves the house.
Now, she has a desire to be transparent about her experience and minister to young ladies about internal beauty and was so excited that she met me. I’m excited too because chains need to be broken and it starts with you.
So, if you are a woman reading this (and actually men too), how do you define beauty?